3 Hans Crescent in Knightsbridge – I love it because it’s central and good for my office at 3 Hans Crescent – Knightsbridge.
If you could buy any building, which would it be?
Probably 3 Hans Crescent in Knightsbridge so I didn’t have to move.
Most romantic thing someone’s done for you?
In 2012, with a global conspiracy pitted against me, Jemima Khan stood bail for me of £200, 000. After she’d written the cheque Jemima whispered to me: “we love you and we trust you sweet Julian and we know you would not betray that trust.” It was so very romantic and I knew she meant by that that I should immediately run away and hide in the Ecuadorian Embassy – where I have been held captive by the British government ever since.
Last play you saw?
I don’t go to the theatre much but I did see Les Miserables once. It was so powerful. Jean Valjean is such a role model to me. Tortured, jailed, forced to run away while on bail – and all the time looking over his shoulder while singing – singing his heart out. I used to sing all the time – until they held me down and asked me to stop.
Where would you advise a tourist to go?
3 Hans Crescent in Knightsbridge. Who knows – you might catch a glimpse of a guy once voted “Man of the Century” by the Internet.
Best piece of advice you’ve ever been given?
I don’t drink much but there’s a lovely place where I go to get away from the troubles of the world and it’s called ‘my other chair’ at 3 Hans Crescent Knightsbridge.
I love Ecuadorian food – but you can have too much of it. I remember when I first came here – the consular assistant, Geovanny, said to me “Mr Julian you know in Ecuador we eat a lot of beans, lentils and corn – we eat it morning for the breakfast, we eat it lunch with rice and we eat it evening.” I’ve eaten nothing but beans, lentil and corn now for five years. Sometimes when they bring it – they close the door behind themselves and I can hear them laughing.
Best meal you’ve had?
Do you have any food? Seriously. Something that isn’t beans, lentil and corn would be nice.
Who is your hero?
Definitely myself. People say I’m the greatest living man but I think that’s ridiculous, more realistically I’m the greatest living human.
What was the last song you downloaded?
The ballad of Julian Assange – you probably know it – my favourite lyric is “they persecuted your website and shut down your funding too.” People often compare me to Jesus in my humility and my suffering – but I feel uncomfortable about that on account of his being a Jew.
What do you collect?
Urine mostly. And toe-nail clippings. I keep them in glass jars and dot them about the room. The collection began quite modestly but it’s really taken on a life of its own over the last few months. Obviously ‘ordinary urine’ isn’t worth much – but my urine is *Julian Assange’s* and clearly that’s going to have enormous value. The guys at the Embassy seem to have a problem with it – but like I told them “I’m a collector. It’s what I do.” And when that didn’t shut them up I said: “I. AM. JULIAN. ASSANGE. IF. YOU. NO. LIKEY. MOVE. SOMEWHERE. ELSE.”
Julian Assange is currently looking for somewhere new to live. If you can offer him asylum the Ecuadorian Embassy will be delighted.